Mom Guilt

I’m writing this because I need to hear it. I hope it helps someone, but I also hope it helps me.

As a mom, there have been many lessons I've had to learn and some have come easier than others. Put your child first. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions for the sake of your child. It's okay to have a mommy day. Etc.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn is how to tackle mom guilt. I want the best for my baby and I feel that it's my responsibility to make sure she has it. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure that I'm doing a good job that it becomes very easy to slip into this anxious space and feel guilty when things aren't going as planned.

I have to constantly remind myself that parenting in my head and parenting in real life are two different experiences. I have to constantly remind myself that Anaya is her own person and comparing her to other children and their milestones does NO ONE any good, but this is all easier said than done.

I'm not sure where the mom guilt comes from. She's happy. She's healthy. She's growing and progressing as she should, but I still feel like I'm not doing enough.

Lately, I've been trying to stop the mom guilt train from rolling as soon as I feel it start to creep in. I try to walk myself backwards through my thoughts and live in the present moment.

There is a child at Anaya's daycare that is the same age as her but has been hitting developmental milestones a lot sooner than Anaya has. Crawling, motor skills, even waving, all of these way before Anaya is even thinking about them.

When I saw the baby waving while I was picking Anaya up, the first thought that popped in my head was, should Anaya be waving? Is there something I'm not doing?

Immediate mom guilt.

I got in the car and began to immediately walk myself through the mom guilt. Okay, she's not waving, what is she doing? She communicates in other ways. She tells you when she wants to nurse. She tells you when she would like some food. She recognizes when mommy or daddy walk into the room. She says DaDa and BaBa. She's communicating.

So does it really matter that she's not waiving?

NOPE.

I had to talk myself through this to make sure that I wasn't feeling guilty about something that wasn't even an issue or creating problems that weren't there. It's something I'm still learning to do. I have to make the conscious effort to not feel guilty.

Is this something you struggle with as a mom? I would love to hear how you deal with it in the comments below!