Our Birth Story: Mr. Man

They say when you tell God your plans, he laughs. Well, he must think I’m hilarious.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew two thing: 1. I was having a boy; 2. He was coming early.

Everything about this pregnancy was different. I had all day sickness that lasted 14 weeks. It wasn’t just nausea. It was nausea, vomiting , all the things. My belly was carrying much lower. I was so uncomfortable! So I just knew I was having a boy and he was going to grace us with his presence early.

Only one of these things was true. .

The week of my birth, I was doing everything in my power to get that baby out. We were taking walks, doing squats, I ate all things spicy, sweet, stayed on my feet, stayed off my feet, EVERYTHING. I was working from home and was so uncomfortable. That Wednesday, I had a conversation with my boss about taking my maternity leave early because I was finding it harder to sit at a desk and get through the day. She told me I could do what I felt comfortable with but she wanted me to have as much time with my baby as possible and since we had no idea when he was coming, I told her I would let her know by the end of the week.

On Thursday, we spent my lunch break at a splash pad. I waddled around the splash pad with our daughter trying to cool off and give her some one on one time before a new baby joined the mix. While we were at the park, I was having some contractions but they were so irregular I assumed they were Braxton Hicks. I came back home and signed on to a virtual meeting. I begrudgingly told the team that I was very much still pregnant and was convinced this baby wasn’t coming.

After I finished working for the day, I had a conference call scheduled for a non profit I work with. I was supposed to be facilitating a conversation between two people but the call ended up with me doing more listening than speaking. It was a good thing it did because those irregular contractions started to become pretty regular.

As the call kept going the contractions started to get more intense. I found myself muting the call so that I could take deep breaths and move through the pain. I text Rod to tell him to put our Midwife on standby in case things started to turn up.

The call lasted much longer than we intended and as we were wrapping up one of my coworkers said, “Let me let you go so you don’t end up going into labor.” I laughed and said, “I think I’m in early labor now.”

When we got off the phone, my contractions had been coming every 10 minutes for the last 30-45 minutes. We called my midwife and she started heading over. She lived an hour away from us so I knew I had some time. We spent that hour getting ready, watching tv, and recording content I never posted.

When my midwife arrived, I was so excited because I knew this meant it was time.

I was 4cm dilated

Not at all the “Gametime” response I was expecting to hear from her. She waited around for an hour or so to see if the contractions revved up…they did not. They actually slowed down. She said she didn’t think it was labor and she was going to head home to get some sleep in case things started back up. I was upset, but I understood.

My midwife leaving me was the key.

Remember I said she lived an hour away? Within 30 minutes of her leaving, those contractions were 8 minutes a part and increasing in intensity. Rod called her and updated her and she decided to come back and check on me. In the 30 minutes between her leaving and coming back, I went from 4cm to 6cm. This baby was finally coming!

They started to unpack their bags, blow up the birth pool, and we knew it was time. I called my doula (who also lived an hour away) and the team started to assemble. We let the essential people know we were in labor and the contractions started to intensify.

The contractions had me swaying, vomiting and hugging a toilet. The more they intensified, the more I started to wonder why the hell I was so against epidurals. At 8cm, I got in the birth pool and the water felt amazing. It was warm and relaxing, but it did not take the pain away. I’ve always wanted to give birth in water. I thought it would be a beautiful painless experience and maybe for some people it is. It was beautiful. Painless, it was not.

After sitting in the water for some time, I started to feel like this was never going to end. Granted, it hadn’t been that long. It had probably only been a couple hours since everything started, but I was exhausted. I was tired. I wanted to hold my baby. I wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to stop being 8cm dilated. I wanted to go to the hospital and get pain meds.

I was doing all the things. Rod was providing comfort. My doula was providing comfort. Anaya was somehow sleeping through it all. The water felt great. The mood was right. The music was great (minus the random Lil Baby song that played. Love him down…but not for birth). But this baby was too comfortable and was not budging. We talked about my options and I decided to have my midwife break my water.

She broke my water and we immediately went from 8cm to 10cm. Time to start pushing. I grabbed Rod’s hand and my Doula’s hand and buckled down. Less than an hour later out pumps my 9lb 10oz Mr. Man. We were elated to see that he was a boy. I looked at his face and knew instantly he was our Jaxton Aaron. The newest addition to the FraLews born at at 3:08 am. 6 hours of ups and downs but he was finally here.

He was 3 days late, but right on time.